World Cup Hairstyles: The Best & The Worst

Every 4 years the FIFA World Cup takes the globe by storm, and this year is no different. Although the American team is out of the running, despite its impressive performance escaping the “Group of Death,” the final games are sure to be exciting nonetheless. But we’re not here to judge teams or players based on things like how well they play soccer. Oh no! Today, we’re judging them on an equally important (if not more important) metric: their hairstyles. Below, here the Top 5 Best and Top 5 Worst Hairstyles of the 2014 World Cup!

WORST

1. Rodrigo Palacio (Argentina): So far in this World Cup we’ve seen several different braided hairstyles. Some of them good, some of them… not so much. This falls into the latter category. This hairstyle is popularly called a “rat tail,” and it is every bit as stylish and attractive as the name implies. Which is to say not at all.

   

2. Paul Pogba (France): It’s hard to tell exactly what Paul was going for when he last visited the barber shop. A Mohawk, somewhat bleached, with two (count ‘em!), two bleached stripes on both sides of his head. Talented in the midfield, less so in the mirror.

   

3. Bacary Sagna (France): That’s right, France gets two spots in the Worst list! Here we have another attempt at a braided hairstyle that just doesn’t quite cut it (pun intended). What is this, an ‘N SYNC concert from the 1990’s? Justin Timberlake couldn’t pull it off, neither can you.

   

4. Kyle Beckerman (United States): USA! USA! Not that there’s anything really wrong with Kyle’s dreadlocks. At least, nothing that isn’t wrong with dreadlocks in the first place. Our main problem with this is: the man is playing professional, world class soccer. How can he deal with those dreads flying all over the place?

   

5. Serey Die (Ivory Coast): Mohawks can definitely be cool. Don’t let anyone tell you different. However, if you’re going to go for a Mohawk, try to make sure it’s not crooked!

   

BEST

1. Daley Blind (Netherlands). Now here is a great haircut. Great length, beautiful color, and a sensual wavy texture. This defensive midfielder knows how to handle the ball and a mirror. Blind may be his last name, but blind he certainly is not!

   

2. Raul Meireles (Portugal): Mohawk? Check. Thick manly beard? Check? Meireles has all the makings of a true Brooklyn hipster. All he needs is to swap that soccer uniform for some super tight jeans and an ironic t-shirt, maybe throw on a pair of oversized sunglasses, and he could be in a band that’s so cool you’ve never heard of it.

   

3. Olivier Geroud (France): Leave it to France to have players in both the Best and Worst categories. Olivier, sometimes called the “French Beckham,” is sporting the “undercut,” an increasingly popular look in Europe: shaved on the sides and back with a defined side part and cool slicked across hair.

   

4. Oscar dos Santos Emboaba Junior (Brazil): For guys with thick hair, here’s a man who knows how to wear it. Oscar’s thick and wavy locks are styled into a matte version of the comb over that’s getting more and more popular.

   

5. Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal): Who else but McDreamy, himself, rounds out our list of Best World Cup hairstyles? Cristiano’s zig-zag haircut certainly caused a stir during the match against the United States, mostly by people saying how bad it was. A rumor circulated that the haircut was a tribute to a struggling cancer patient, though it went unverified. What is clear, though, is that Cristiano did spend over $80,000 of his own money to pay for the child’s surgery. And we’re pretty sure he looked fabulous while he did it.